10 Ways Loved Ones Can Help
The pain and suffering of addiction are not limited to the person abusing substances. Loved Ones share a tremendous burden as well.
>>Download a PDF of the 10 Ways Loved Ones Can Help here.
The Counseling Center not only saved my son’s life, but helped him to find purpose and achieve his goals.
–Thea Floyd
The pain and suffering of addiction are not limited to the person abusing substances. Loved Ones share a tremendous burden as well. The disease twists the Loved One’s love, concern, and willingness to be helpful into a host of enabling behaviors that only help to perpetuate the disease of addiction.
The disease will fervently resist a Loved One’s effort to stop enabling, but this is a necessary hurdle if a Loved One wants to be truly helpful. The weight of the natural consequences of the addiction must be experienced by the addict rather than the family, or there is no hope of recovery.
The 10 Ways Loved Ones Can Help should be approached separately as individual goals, and we are here to provide support as these changes are made.
The 10 Ways Loved Ones Can Help
1) Learn the facts
Realizing that addiction is a progressive disease will help family members accept their loved one as a "sick person" rather than a "bad person."
2) Allow consequences
Rescuing the addicted person from his/her consequences only ensures that more must occur before the need for recovery is realized. Adverse effects provide the necessary motivation to initiate recovery efforts.
3) No financial support
Money is the lifeblood of addiction. Even when given with the best intentions, it enables the person with the addiction to avoid the natural and necessary consequences of the disease.
4) Don’t look for underlying causes
It is a waste of time and energy and usually ends up with some form of blame focused on the family or others.
5) Don’t make idle threats
Remember, "actions speak louder than words." Threats are as meaningless as the promises made by the addicted person.
6) Don't extract promises
Remember, "actions speak louder than words." Threats are as meaningless as the promises made by the addicted person.
7) Don’t preach or lecture
A sick person is not motivated to take positive action through guilt or intimidation. Unfortunately, "talking someone into" getting sober doesn't work.
8) Avoid reactions of pity and anger
Nothing can cause anger and pity quite like watching a loved one suffer. These familiar emotions can be all-encompassing and can easily take over your life while misdirected towards this sick individual. Take positive steps to analyze and bring back into perspective your feelings.
9) Don’t accommodate the disease
As the disease progresses within the family, the family will unknowingly accommodate its presence. Locking up money and valuables, not inviting guests, and adjusting your schedule to be home more are all examples of accommodation.
10) Focus on your own life & responsibilities
Identify areas of your life you have neglected to focus on the addicted loved one. Focusing on personal areas of one's life is empowering and helpful to all concerned.
Download a PDF of the 10 Ways Loved Ones Can Help here.
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